Rowdy's Fun Time Play Zone!: NEVERMIND (Good friends come and go)

Monday, July 18, 2005

NEVERMIND (Good friends come and go)

UPDATE: NEVERMIND, well, it's true that I have good friends anyway. The rest is all based on incorrect assumtions, so ignore it.

You know, I had some really good friends in highschool. We've all grown apart and gone our seperate ways in the last few years. Some have hard feelings for one another and some don't. Some have the courtesy to let eachother know how they feel, some have troubles expressing their emotions I guess. Well this seems like a good forum for expressing emotions so here's how I feel: I still consider all of my highschool friends to be good friends and I will always love and respect them. We had a lot of good times and I miss them when time and space grows between us. "King Sipidation", if you ever decide to tell me how you feel, I'll be here listening. I don't know what I did to cheese you off, but I'm sorry, I truely am, I didn't mean to do it, not on purpose anyway. You know, whatever the reason is that you want nothing to do with me, I'll understand and respect your wishes. I am a "bleading-heart-liberal" afterall. What I don't understand is why you have to lie about it.

If I never see you again I would just like to say that I'll miss you man, and I wish you all the best in life. You know what, I'll even go so far as to say I love you man. See you around.

Bunjamin-"I've learned that a flawless profile, nice clothes and great car can get you far in life, but they can't get you everthing..."
Randall-"And I've learned that plutonic love can exist between two grown men..."

Okaypeaceout

17 Comments:

I am a "bleading-heart-liberal" afterall.

First, what the fuck is this bullshit? You honestly think this has to do with anything? Why the fuck would you even bring that shit up? You are the least liberal person I know. Angie alone makes you look like GWB. So don’t even bring this bullshit up. It is absolutely disgusting that you did.

if you ever decide to tell me how you feel

I can’t tell you my feelings. I never could. Part of a friendship is not telling everyone personal things that you don’t want anyone else to know. You do this all of the time. You blurt it out to anyone and everyone. It isn’t just me you do this to. You have done it to just about everyone. Plus it isn’t that we leave you at a point where you would have to lie. It is that you just blurt it out without anyone even questioning you about it. I guess though all of this is telling you how I feel so there you go.

I'll be here listening

Yep you will be here online or when it is convenient to you. Plus it isn’t just you. Don’t worry though I never expected anything. It really isn’t that big of deal.

I told you Friday why I stopped talking. You made it clear that you have your “new life” and it was more important to you than your “old”. So I gave you space with your “new life”. I didn’t want to be the one to jeopardize it. That is the only reason. So don’t read any more into it. It isn’t that I don’t want anything to do with you. I was actually starting to forget about it until all this.

I am interested in what you think I lied about. Please tell me…

By The King, at July 18, 2005 10:12 PM
Wow. I knew you were pissed, but I didn't think you were that pissed. I thought that the Wayne's World quote would show that I was being silly. I didn't mean any of that as an insult to either of us. The only reason I put King Sipidation in quotes is because I wanted to use your real name but respected you enough to not use it.(this is all written in a calm and soothing tone, I am seriously not trying to put any blame on anyone and am doing the absolute best that I can to keep this friendly)

I am truly sorry that you got the message that I didn't want to talk anymore. I've never felt that. I apologize sincerely to you. I fucked up. I tried to keep two lives going and failed misserably.

Honestly, I think this has been a long time coming though. I've been pissing you off for a long time. Ever since the LA trip, and probably before then also. The truth is I think you probably need some friends that have more in common with you anyway. I'm surprised this hasen't already happenned. We had some great times and that's what I'm going to remember.

I'm not mad at you, just hurt that you don't respect me enough to say good bye. All I was trying to say with my post was "good bye, good luck, I was happy to be your friend". I guess that's not how it came off. I know you didn't need your key back because you lost yours or something. Depending on how you acted when I got to BJ'sBP I was ready to just offer it to you. Look, I am honestly not mad, I just would have appreciated it if you had let me know that you were done with me. I would've understood that. No hard feelings.

I'm sorry I found your other blog. All the cloak and dagger made me curious. I'll leave you alone and tell no one of it. I am not fucking joking around when I say I wish you all the best and that I'll miss you. We had some good arguments, we had some good road trips, we had loads of fun at BK and I will hold those memories for the rest of my life.

Keep on truckin',
Rowdy

By rowdy, at July 19, 2005 9:59 AM
Wow. I knew you were pissed, but I didn't think you were that pissed.

I wasn’t pissed until you brought up that this has something to do with politics. It is insulting that you would even insinuate that.

The only reason I put King Sipidation in quotes is because I wanted to use your real name but respected you enough to not use it.

You’ve done this a lot of other times before it isn’t a big deal at all. I really didn’t even notice that you did this.

I am truly sorry that you got the message that I didn't want to talk anymore.

It came across more that you really didn’t care. That you were throwing off your friends. I am not the only one who gets this vibe from you either. You have been treating us like second-class citizens. You say you’re going to be here and there then don’t. You say that you’re sorry that you don’t hang out more, yet you don’t make the effort to. It isn’t that hard to get away for one whole night to hang out. I understand the want to be with Kelsie. It doesn’t bother me that we hang out less. It is just that the times we do hang out seem more like, to use a common phrase, throwing a bone to the dog. That it isn’t that you want to hang out it is just that you have spare time to kill until she gets home from work.

I know you didn't need your key back because you lost yours or something.

If you know this then you know jack shit. You assume too much. I really didn’t want to get into the reason why. It is rather boring reason so I didn’t explain it. Plus it didn’t turn out what was supposed to happen so I was going to give it back anyways. If I would have waited a few days it wouldn’t have came up.

Honestly, I think this has been a long time coming though.

In some aspects yes and some no.

I've been pissing you off for a long time.

No you haven’t.

Ever since the LA trip, and probably before then also.

The thing that made me pissy was the long car rides. Denver was great, LA was great, and San Fran was great. It was just the long ride to Seattle that got me pissy and it wasn’t at you. I was just in a bad mood. I believe I apologized for it. If not I am sorry.

The truth is I think you probably need some friends that have more in common with you anyway.

The only thing we don’t have in common is politics and even that we agree on a lot of things. So I am not sure where you’re coming from with this.

I'm surprised this hasen't already happenned.

This is kind of insulting to hear after 10 years.

We had some great times and that's what I'm going to remember.

We had mostly only great times.

I'm not mad at you, just hurt that you don't respect me enough to say good bye.

I wasn’t saying goodbye in any aspect. You again are assuming way too much. I am also again at a loss of where this is coming from, because it is not coming from me. Do you just not want to deal with this and want it all to go away? Please explain it to me. I have always considered you like a brother. I will always think this way. It just the vibes you have been giving are that you don’t care. Not to say that is true. Just that that is what is being perceived.

All the cloak and dagger made me curious

It wasn’t all cloak and dagger I just didn’t tell anyone I know about it. That is all. It is like when I had two sipidation sites. One was personal and one was for the friends. I wanted to create something similar. You just picked a bad day to find it and your post came across like I was doing something devious. I did over react, but again it was a bad day

By The King, at July 19, 2005 12:16 PM
Okay, you're right. I do assume way too much. I didn't know what was going on because I'm never there. My fault. But you didn't tell me what was going on and just stopped returning my emails, what was I supposed to think?

I think I know what you're talking about with the awkward feeling there is whenever we hang out. I get nervous because I know everybody's upset, then I don't act like I'm just comfortable old Rowdy.

Things can't be the way they were. I can't hang out every weekend anymore. Because Munky works retail, we don't really get that much time together. I tried to get that poker game started because I missed hanging out and I wanted to see everybody regularily. It didn't work out I guess, and that's what happens.

I was always excited to be able to hang out with you guys when I could. It wasn't just "I have some time to kill" to me. I understand now that I was not sending that message. I hope that you can trust me and forgive me for that.

Okay, I just went back and re-read your post. I sound like an insane person up there. Wow. I'm certifiable. I'm sorry, I seriously just didn't know what the hell was going on. I felt like you were just abandoning me, giving up entirely. That's where all the comments came from. I've always felt a little disrespected by you, as far back as highschool, but I was never sure if it was true or just you guys joking around. I've always chalked it up to just joking around until you cut me off, then I thought it was all true. I'm sorry I kind of lashed out up there. I now know there was no basis for that.

The reason I said I figured you needed friends with more in common was because I always felt bad that you didn't have friends like your internet friends to hang out with in person and I just thought it would be good for you. I don't know, I guess I did believe that you were really pissed at me to.

Alright, I'm getting sick of typing. We can explain everything away, everything can make sense, the bottom line is: Do we now and did we ever want to stop being friends? My answer is no. I understand now that I've done a horrible job at keeping in touch with you, I want to change that. I just realized that there have been a couple times when I could have and should have given you a call to see if you wanted to come over. I will now remember to give you a call. If you're still interested, maybe we can get that poker game started for real. Hell, maybe we can even make it on Saturday nights. I'm going to be at the Dinky Town Theatre tonight for the Happy Dagger release party at 8:00. I've forgiven, I've forgotten(partly due to my horrible memory) and I hope to see you there.

By rowdy, at July 19, 2005 2:17 PM
Oh yeah, and the bleading heart liberal deal was seriously just a joke, I meant absolutely nothing by it except to say that I cared. That was probably not the right time to make that kind of joke. I apologize.

By rowdy, at July 19, 2005 2:18 PM
I'll post up more later. I got to actually do some work today. By which I mean eat brownies.To sum it up though the notion of not being friends was never on the table. I just did a piss ass job at comunicating what was going on.

I can't make it tonight to the Happy Dagger thing. I have a list that I am pushing to get done and if I stop for one night I know it isn't going to get done. I finally got my lawn mowed (2 weeks later) and half of the dishes done (3 or 4 weeks later) yesterday. That leaves about 6 or 7 things to do.

By The King, at July 19, 2005 3:13 PM
Oh shit, that's a hell of a list. I like brownies.....can I eat some brownies too? Can Lenny have a brownie?

Ooo, hey, do you want to be on the kickball team? There's is a new season starting at the end of August. I think we'll be practicing, I don't know, I'll let you know if you think you'd be interested. The only thing is that they only allow I think 20 members on a team, but maybe we could start our own if we could find the people. I doubt it though. We need at least four girls. I think I might know some other people who would join though.

By rowdy, at July 19, 2005 3:34 PM
But you didn't tell me what was going on and just stopped returning my emails, what was I supposed to think?

True, but what you thought was over the top. Instead of just thinking I was pissed at you, you thought I didn’t ever want to see you again.

Things can't be the way they were. I can't hang out every weekend anymore.

No one is expecting you to hang out every weekend. You don’t hang out ANY weekend and when you do hang out it is only for a couple hours till Kelsie is off of work.

Because Munky works retail, we don't really get that much time together.

That I find hard to believe. Rachel worked the same thing and I saw her all the time. Plus at one point she was working two jobs and going to school with me seeing her all the time.

I tried to get that poker game started because I missed hanging out and I wanted to see everybody regularily. It didn't work out I guess, and that's what happens.

There is not too much enthusiasm for the poker game any more.

Okay, I just went back and re-read your post. I sound like an insane person up there. Wow. I'm certifiable. I'm sorry, I seriously just didn't know what the hell was going on. I felt like you were just abandoning me, giving up entirely. That's where all the comments came from.

You just read way too much into things than there really was. It’s all-good.

I've always felt a little disrespected by you, as far back as highschool, but I was never sure if it was true or just you guys joking around. I've always chalked it up to just joking around until you cut me off, then I thought it was all true.

You should know it is joking around. I do it all the time and to just about everyone. I enjoy giving people a hard time. The only thing that isn’t a joke is you being whipped. It started out as a joke, but then it became unfunny when it was evident that it was true. Don’t worry though I think you moved past being whipped and now are in the being owned phase. Well maybe you should worry?

The reason I said I figured you needed friends with more in common was because I always felt bad that you didn't have friends like your internet friends to hang out with in person and I just thought it would be good for you.

That’s a bit weird.

I understand now that I've done a horrible job at keeping in touch with you, I want to change that.

Actually, I am probably the one you keep in touch with the most. This is due to the fact that we are both online. So you might want to keep in touch with others. They have a lot of the same feelings I do about things and are not privy to this conversation.

What needs to be done is to party. Don’t bring Kelsie, don’t answer your phone unless it is one of us, don’t go home at 9, and even if the only reason you are out is because she isn’t home don’t bring it up.

By The King, at July 20, 2005 2:27 PM
Okay then, I guess the real question is: Would you rather remain friends with the old Rowdy or would you consider being friends with the owned Rowdy? Because I hate to tell you, but the old Rowdy is dead. Munky is the reason I live. She's the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I breath, the reason I go to sleep at night with a smile on my face. I love her. She's a part of me. There is no Rowdy without Munky. I don't mean we have to be everywhere together, I mean it figuratively, but you get my point. She doesn't demand that I'm home at 9:30, she just likes coming home to me, and I like being there when she comes home.

Anyway, I got rambling there, what I want to know is, what do want from me? If it's just that last paragraph of your post, I'll give it a try, but we gotta plan it, I can't just go out any random time.

All I ever wanted from you guys was to understand that I didn't stop liking you guys, I just found someone I love and want to be with.

Munky and I have talked a bit and I found out some things that I didn't understand about her before and now I MAY BE a little less whipped. We'll see.

By rowdy, at July 20, 2005 5:34 PM
Nevermind the planning, that's lame. Random times will work fine. I just might not be able to if I have plans.

I also thought up a really good metaphor. Yes, I'm on a leash, and I had it all tangled up on the deck furniture and chair legs and every little nail popping up out of the deck so that I couldn't go anywhere. Munky just untangled it for me so I should be able to walk a lot farther now.

I also want to apologize again for being such a twat that last few months. I just want to make sure you know that I'm sorry and I didn't mean to make you guys feel like you were unwanted. I'd never been in a relationship before and I'm still trying to figure out how to handle friends and fiance at the same time. Obviously, what I have been doing is not the right way to do it. So there, again, I am sorry.

By rowdy, at July 21, 2005 2:29 PM
I'm just coming in out of nowhere cause I was curious how Rowdy is doing. Just gonna say my impressions, ultimately it doesn't really effect me much anyway. :P

First Rowdy, and maybe you don't believe this now, but you certainly will a while into marriage. Here's a quote from a play: "Nobody should ever need another person that badly."

Need is a dangerous thing. You're right, you are balancing things wrong because you've decided there is a difference between the 'old' rowdy and the 'new' rowdy. Bullshit. It's the same old rowdy going through some new stuff. Love is tough and not simple. The best and healthiest love comes not from need, but want for the other person, the want to support them. You should be there to catch each other, but be able to stand alone. If you can't, then you have other issues completely seperate from Munky and your relationship with her that you need to deal with. I can't stress how much you may be hurting your long distance relationship with her if you don't address these things. So think about it that way if it helps, that if you can't realize what's wrong being unable to exist as yourself, and balance your life, you and Munky won't survive the test of time.

Sounds harsh maybe, but I've seen it a lot. I don't feel like explaining why I'm right, but I'm just gonna say it, I'm right. It's about percentages anyway, nothing is certain. If you want a higher percentage of being/staying happy with her forever, get your shit together.

Of course this means you'll probably end up making her very angry before things are ok, too bad, deal. Or learn to duck.

Eh, my two cents, wish you the best Rowdy and I'll see you around.

By doctor, at July 25, 2005 1:53 PM
I agree 100% with the above statement.

By The King, at July 25, 2005 2:40 PM
I also agree 100% with the above statement. I don't need Munky, I thought she was the needy one and I, having no backbone, was an enabler. I always thought she was upset that I would stay out late and such, but it turns out she was just upset that I would keep inviting her to places she didn't want to go. I could explain that further, but it's not the point, the point is, yes, I screwed up, I don't know how to handle myself in a relationship, I'm learning how to do that, I hurt you guys, my friends, and that was wrong. Then you guys, my friends, hurt me by ingnoring me completely and not telling me how you felt so I ASSUMED some things incorrectly and caused a blow-up and more hurt feelings. I've apologized for my faults, all is forgiven on your end, would you just give me another chance and tell me when I'm being an ass this time?

By rowdy, at July 25, 2005 5:43 PM
Oh yeah, Jerry, you're nit-picking about notation. The "new" Rowdy just reffers to the same old Rowdy who's going through some new stuff. Not bullshit, just a different refference to the same thing.

By rowdy, at July 25, 2005 6:03 PM
I don't know how to handle myself in a relationship

This is a scary statement to make for someone engaged to be married.

tell me when I'm being an ass this time

You don't have to worry about this.

The "new" Rowdy just reffers to the same old Rowdy who's going through some new stuff

You would not have refered to the "old Rowdy" as being dead if they were one and the same. This is what bugged me the most. The whole "new life" "new Rowdy" comments. It just might come down to how things are precieved and how things are meant.

By The King, at July 25, 2005 8:22 PM
Are you going to just keep attacking me, or will you accept my apologies and move on? If there are issues that you still have, let's focus on those.

By rowdy, at July 26, 2005 9:53 AM
I'm sorry. That was rude again. Why do I keep doing that? Idiot (to myself). I'm not sure what you want, but just want you to not be mad at me. What can I do?

By rowdy, at July 29, 2005 3:03 PM

Rowdy's Fun Time Play Zone!

Monday, July 18, 2005

NEVERMIND (Good friends come and go)

17 Comments:

My Blog's purpose for existence!!!

About Me

Previous